Change can be complicated when you’re AuDHD.

We can crave it… whether that be a new routine, a fresh start, a different environment, a new project or simply something to break up the monotony. But when that change actually happens, it can feel completely overwhelming.

The thing we thought we wanted suddenly requires planning, adjusting, processing and emotionally preparing. The old routine is gone, but the new one hasn’t become familiar yet. We’re somewhere in the middle.

We can want change and struggle enormously with change at the same time.

For many AuDHDers, change isn’t just about what happens externally. It can mean processing new expectations, sensory input, decisions, social situations and uncertainty. Even a positive change can take a huge amount of mental and emotional energy.

So when someone says, “But it’s a good change!”, that doesn’t necessarily make it easier. Something can be positive and still be exhausting.

But here’s the contradiction: sometimes change is exactly what we need.

A new environment might remove things that were draining us. A different routine might work better for the way our brain functions. A new project might give us the stimulation and motivation we’ve been missing.

Sometimes we don’t need to try harder to make the old situation work.

Sometimes we need to change the situation.

Perhaps it’s not change itself that’s the problem. Maybe it’s how change happens.

There’s a huge difference between “Everything is changing. Figure it out” and “This is what’s changing, this is what will stay the same, and we’ll give you time to adjust.”

Information, preparation, choice and support can make a huge difference. Sometimes we don’t need the change to disappear. We just need time to process it.

There’s also a strange tension between novelty and familiarity. We might crave novelty because it gives us stimulation and something to look forward to, but then crave familiarity again because familiar things require less mental energy.

We can want excitement and predictability. We can want spontaneity and preparation. We can want something different while still needing something familiar to anchor us.

Perhaps that’s why change isn’t simply a curse or a cure for AuDHDers.

It can overwhelm us, disrupt our routines and leave us feeling like we’re constantly trying to catch up. But it can also help us break out of situations that weren’t working and discover environments, routines and ways of doing things that suit us better.

We might be excited about a new job while feeling overwhelmed by everything we have to learn. We might want a new routine while finding the process of establishing it exhausting.

Both things can be true.

Maybe instead of asking, “Do you cope well with change?”, we should ask:

“What kind of change helps you thrive, and what kind of change drains you?”

Because we don’t necessarily need to become better at tolerating every change that comes our way.

Sometimes we simply need to understand what we need to navigate it.

For AuDHDers, perhaps change isn’t simply a curse or a cure.

For us, it depends on what the change is, how it happens, and whether we have the right support around us.

Here are some helpful tips for navigating changes with AuDHD:

1. Give yourself time to transition

Change can take more out of an AuDHD brain than other people might realise. Even when the change is something you genuinely want, your brain may still need time to process the disruption to your routines, expectations and sense of predictability. Try not to judge yourself for needing longer to adjust. Give yourself permission to have a transition period where things feel unfamiliar, messy or uncomfortable before expecting yourself to feel settled again.

2. Hold on to familiar things

When something significant is changing, keeping some things the same can give your nervous system a sense of stability. This might be having the same breakfast, keeping your usual bedtime routine, listening to a familiar playlist or making sure you have a favourite comfort item nearby. These things might seem insignificant to someone else, but familiar routines can act as anchors when everything around you feels different.

3. Make the unknown more predictable

A lot of the difficulty with change can come from not knowing exactly what is going to happen. If you can, turn the vague idea of “everything is changing” into something more concrete. Write down what is changing, what isn’t changing, what you need to do and what you can expect. Ask questions when you need more information, visit somewhere beforehand, or rehearse a new routine. You aren’t being difficult or overthinking things, you’re giving your brain more information to work with.

4. Expect your capacity to change too

Change can temporarily reduce your ability to manage things that would normally feel easy. You might have less energy for socialising, cooking, keeping your home organised or dealing with additional demands. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going backward. Your brain is already using extra energy to process the change, so other things may become harder for a while. Lowering your expectations and building in extra rest can help you get through the transition without burning yourself out.

5. Remember that struggling with change doesn’t mean you can’t handle it

One of the most important things to remember is that finding change difficult doesn’t mean you’re incapable of adapting. You can be excited about a new chapter and still feel overwhelmed by it. You can know that a change is necessary and still grieve what you’re leaving behind. You can eventually adapt while finding the process incredibly difficult. Being AuDHD doesn’t mean you have to learn to love change, it means learning what support, predictability, flexibility and self-compassion you need while you’re moving through it.